Over Coffee And Pink Shirts
Saturday, March 21, 2009, 4:45 AM
she looked at him--not bitterly, but meaningfully. she had once been in love with this boy, she thought. she had once been swept off her feet and whisked away to neverland by this very boy. she wished she could let herself do that again, but she couldn't, and she wouldn't. not with him. not anymore.

but she needed to know something, before she could confidently turn away and close that page of her life. "could i just ask something?"

he took a sip of his coffee and nodded. "what is it?"

"why did you... leave?"

he looked at her, a sign of sincere remorse on his face. it suddenly made her want to reach out and hold his hand, which was conveniently so near hers.

"i couldn't handle it when things got too serious... i... had to run away."

"you were afraid?"

his silence confirmed her suspicions. he had been afraid. afraid of her, of what she had imposed on him, of what she had implicitly demanded of him. and truthfully, she couldn't blame him, because...

"you were just a boy," she whispered as she looked away. he was just a boy, and she never should have demanded much of him. she never should have expected him to take on responsibilities that only a man could take on. it was her fault. not his. she ought to be ashamed of herself.

"you were the first one, you know." his quiet voice was coaxing her to look at him, and she did. the remorse was gone, much to her surprise. it had now been replaced by a thoughtful smile.

"your hand was the first one i ever held."

"what..." how was she supposed to react to that? she couldn't just callously say thank you, that'd be weird. and she couldn't exactly say 'really', because then it'd sound like she was head-over-heels in love with him again--which she wasn't.

"you were wearing pink then. i had your envelope."

"...you remember."

"yes, i remember."

she gazed at him, no longer knowing what to think. she had decided never to fall in love with him, yes. she had decided never to open her doors to him, yes. but as the memories flooded her mind, she couldn't help but think just how much of an impossibility that was, because she knew deep down inside, he would always hold a piece of her heart. he would always hold a piece of her being...

then and there, she decided. she had once been in love with this boy. she had once been swept off her feet and whisked away to neverland by this very boy. she wished now more than ever that she could let herself do that again, and maybe she would. come the right time, she would.

"you were the first one to hold my hand too."