Chapter Five: The Conclusion
Thursday, September 4, 2008, 6:23 AM
this was a miracle. a week had gone by. and he wasn't even on her mind; not even once. but no, it wasn't because she was over him...


it was because a different guy had been occupying her mind that week.


yes, that guy from the library was haunting her. it was just that he'd caught her attention with his sad story--okay, maybe it did have something to do with the fact that he had been a part of faith's love life before; truthfully, if it were any other guy, she'd have just shoved it right off--and she had wanted to know more. she had wanted to... oh, she didn't know, maybe find someone just exactly like her, who like she, suffered deep scars because of this double-edged sword people called love???


"are you looking for something dear? may i help you?"


katherine looked away from the book shelf she was pretending to scan, and shook her head at the kind librarian. 'i'm actually looking for this guy; i doubt you'll be able to help with that.' but of course, she wouldn't say that to the old lady. instead, she said, "i'm good, ma'am. thank you."


the librarian seemed convinced. she nodded, and went away with a smile.


'god, this is getting sillier every time! i don't even know if he'll come! what if he was just here on a whim? what if he doesn't even remember--'


"you do know that the librarian could've made your search easier, right?"


katherine froze--the hand she had on the shelf stiffened, and she found that she suddenly couldn't move. she knew it was him--it had to be him.


"hey? is everything okay?" she tried to speak, but no sound would come out of her mouth. why? why now? she had rehearsed her questions so many times; practiced her reactions in front of the mirror every chance she could get; so why was she so quiet now? 'stupid! why are you getting cold feet now? and with him?'


"oh, i get it. the book. sorry." she saw his hand near hers, and for a second--when their hands brushed--she could swear her heart stopped beating. holy crap, she thought; why was this happening now? why did he have to have that effect on her now???


"hey. i got the book. you can relax now...?" her mystery guy was obviously worried now; she could tell, with the concern that laced his tone. somehow, katherine concluded that she had to muster enough courage to talk to him. she didn't come to the library everyday for nothing, after all.


slowly--but surely--she lowered her hand and faced him. she forced herself to smile.


"hey."


her mystery guy smiled back and handed her the book. "hey back."


"um..." katherine glanced at the book in her hands, and then at the stranger in front of her. darn, this was harder than she expected.


"...i presume you have a question?"


kat nodded shamefully. "i'm sorry--i imagined this to be a lot easier."


the stranger laughed--a hearty laugh, a warm laugh, that somehow eased kat's nerves a little. "it's a lot harder in person, i know. but, i think i could make things easier for both of us. i think i know the question."


kat looked thoughtful as she looked up into his chocolate brown eyes. her mystery guy smiled at her. "i left you the last time... because i knew i couldn't answer whatever question it was that you wanted me to answer.


"and honestly, i still can't answer them now." here, katherine tried not to look disappointed, but the feeling was gnawing at her heart deep inside. she watched her expectations board the Titanic and sink to the bottom of the ocean. 'so much for craving for sympathy... or understanding, for that matter. i shouldn't have kept my hopes up--'


"but," her mystery guy locked gazes with her, and she could swear she felt her spine shiver at the intensity of his gaze, "while i am incapable of answering your questions, i am capable of feeling how you feel; of putting myself in your shoes. i know how it's like a drug, this little thing we have. it takes us so high; it lets us fly... before it decides to let go, and watch us crash to the ground like wingless birds.


"i know how much it hurts when we fall. and that the hurt only grows more with each time we fall. and yet," here, he looked thoughtful, "as the hurt grows, we learn to fight back more. we learn to be stronger. and... i guess, that's what's important. that we learn to fight back, to be stronger. so that the next time, we no longer fall. we just keep flying, because we've been prepared well. we've been taught well--i'm not making any sense, am i?"


he looked like a lost boy asking for directions, that much katherine would not deny. but every word he said, she thought, made complete sense. while the hurt grew, the desire to protect herself from the hurt also grew. maybe she couldn't see it now, but she knew that somehow, she was preparing to leave christian behind, to just... begin seeing him as a friend. the effort was subconscious, but now she realized with much happiness and confidence that it was there. and that she'd break free soon.


"i did rehearse that speech, you know. so if you want to try and understand all the crap i threw at you, i'll gladly give you a copy."


"no, no," katherine was quick to react this time around. she smiled at him--warmly--before she said, "i understood everything. you made perfect sense. i've realized it now... and..."


the gratitude was just oozing out of her when she said the words. "thank you."


her mystery guy was apparently stunned by the intensity of her gratitude, but he recovered quickly and picked up the kind, calm mask that he had been wearing a few moments ago. "you're welcome. but... i have to go."


"of course," katherine nodded, as if she actually wanted him to go. but deep down inside, she knew she didn't want him to leave. not yet. she wanted him to stay, to tell her more about him; to tell her more about everything! but knowing that they had begun as strangers, and were still strangers at this point, she let the nagging desire go. she let him go.


"i'll see you around, i hope." he really did look hopeful, although katherine bet he didn't look nearly half as hopeful as she did.


"bye."


the mystery guy nodded, and--with one quick brush of his fingers across katherine's warm cheek--left. he didn't even turn to look at her as he left, and katherine was genuinely thankful that he didn't. she was almost sure she'd go after him and convince him to stay if he had.


-end-