Chapter Four
Saturday, August 30, 2008, 5:36 AM
"granny dan... granny dan... damn. where is that book?"


katherine straightened up, frowning as she was again, unable to find the book she was looking for. just today, their professor had assigned a book report on "Granny Dan", and since--for the first time in ages--she had nothing to do, she had decided to immediately work on it.


problem was, she couldn't find the book.


and it was dampening her spirits. not to mention dampening her motivation to start and finish early the said project.


"hey kat."


kat blinked. was that...? "oh. hey faith." she forced a smile, hoping that faith wouldn't see the lie behind her eyes. why in the world was she feeling guilty right now? last night had only been a 'friend thing'; the coffee they had shared had only been some sort of symbol of reminiscing. nothing more. why would she have to feel guilty?


'because you wanted it to mean more.'


'oh shut up conscience,' kat snapped at herself.


"looking for a book?"


"yeah. it's for a book report. but i can't seem to find it."


faith oh-ed, before offering a cheerful smile. "that's okay. i'm sure you'll find it, whatever it is. maybe you could check the online catalogue, or ask some of the staff. i bet either one will help."


"yeah. i'll try that. thanks for the advise, faith."


"sure thing. and oh," faith stopped turned a little before she could completely leave, "christian and i are gonna be sitting at one of the tables, so if you wanna join us, you're free to."


this time, kat smiled sincerely. it was hard not to, with faith's kindness. "thanks."


"no problem. any friend of christian's my friend to. see you then."


"right. thanks again." kat waved her goodbye and watched as she set off for the table by one of the windows. indeed, christian was with her, and it seemed like they were really there for business... or for business with a little bit of quality time with each other.


kat suddenly felt depressed. she sighed as she rested her forehead against the cool metal shelves.


"it's difficult to keep pretending nothing's there, isn't it?"


somehow, kat couldn't find the energy to be shocked, nor to react much. she just continued to close her eyes as she replied, "yeah."


the stranger, whose face she hadn't bothered to see yet, chuckled. "i know how it feels. that girl you just talked to, she used to be my someone. until i... deviated. and left her to fend for herself."


this time, she had to look at him. his story was getting interesting, and it'd be such a waste if she couldn't see the face behind the story. he had dark hair, and warm brown eyes; he was a bit on the skinny side, but she could see a few muscles bulging from beneath his long-sleeved shirt. an average guy, she thought.


"got you interested, huh?"


"it'd be insane not to. what... happened, if you don't mind me asking?"


the guy smiled wistfully. "i got... stupid. i somehow thought that whatever i did, she'd still be there to love me, so i did the inconceivable. i hurt her. over, and over. and she took all of it, as i expected. but then, he came along, and told her i wasn't worth all the tears. she woke up and listened to what he said. she came to her senses. i came to my senses too--only to find it was too late."


kat honestly didn't know whether to feel hatred or sympathy for this guy. he hurt a girl, over and over. that was one thing he deserved to be slapped for. but then, he came to his senses, and when he did, the girl had already moved on. that was one thing to be sad about. but which weighed more?


"i know. it's difficult to decide how to treat me. but," he looked straight into kat's eyes, "i guess we know what we have in common. we're both in love with people who already have their own lives to live--and we both insist on the 'if's, and what could be's'. even when we know it's far from happening."


kat looked down. everything he said was true. the description was short, brief, but it captured everything she was feeling at that moment. 'what if it had meant more than friendship? what if it had meant more than reminiscing? what if it had been more than coffee for old times' sake?'


"why do you think we...?"


she had looked up to ask her mystery guy a question, only to find that he had disappeared. in the shelf beside where he stood however, was a book--specifically the book she had been looking for.


carefully, she took it and ran her hand over the cover.


that stranger. she had to meet him again.